


Invisible hurts

by Trash_King



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 16:12:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3575688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash_King/pseuds/Trash_King
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Becoming more Human comes at a heavy price. (In which Cole feels the sads a lot.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Invisible hurts

**Author's Note:**

> I’m unable to play the games so my access to events are far limited so this may not be entirely accurate? This is based off a headcanon that Cole is terrible when it comes to emotions. In his spirit form, he can make himself and others forget so he can wash clean. But when he’s more human, he doesn't understand how to work through what he feels. Which will lead to him suffering through them in the end.

Becoming more human, as Cole is quick to realise, came at a heavy price.   
Yes, he is clean and uncluttered. No fear of falling. Of being knotted together and made to follow.  
But people can see him, hear him and remember him now. 

Before was easier, when he could make others forget. He helps, heals their hurt, finds the right word to make the pain fade and he makes them forget for their own good and for himself too. So that he could wash clean again. Now he has to stop and think hard to find the right words to use. It’s…harder to wash clean when he starts to feel. He sees the hurt and he feels everything. It’s not something he knows how to process or work through. He doesn't know how. It was never a problem before. And the hurt stays with him long after he’s untangled them for others. 

Lingering like a bad taste in the mouth, bitter, settling heavy against his chest sometimes and makes it hard to breathe. It’s weight grows and grows but Cole doesn't know how to extricate it like before. He tries to tell it to go away. Tries to ignore it but it lingers like a storm cloud, pestering, it’s stings sharp, digging into him. And it just builds and builds and builds. Mostly when he is alone. 

So he keeps himself busy, trying to help others as much as possible and for a while he thinks maybe this was okay.   
But it wasn’t. Because someone noticed. Someone noticed and comes to him. They talk but Cole used the wrong words again.   
He tells them he doesn’t matter. That helping was what matters because that is what he does and who he is. And it is! Helping was what he was meant to do. But those were the wrong words and he sees their face crumple. He feels the hurt and he cannot undo that. 

Cole cannot explain why that leaves his insides cold. He cannot explain why he feels like he is being squeezed breathless in a giant hand that exists but doesn’t exist. Or why his body starts shaking and quivering even when he doesn’t want it to do so. He cannot explain why his eyes burn and why he begins to cry.

Becoming human comes at a heavy price.


End file.
